


Hey, I Found Your Flashdrive

by MoralCode



Category: Red vs. Blue
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Drabble, Fluff, M/M, Meet-Cute, Rare Pair
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-05
Updated: 2017-12-05
Packaged: 2019-02-10 20:47:14
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,412
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12919944
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MoralCode/pseuds/MoralCode
Summary: Church forgets his flashdrive at the library...again.





	Hey, I Found Your Flashdrive

Church spends most of his time at the library, not that he's some sort of bookworm. He just likes to get his classwork done in peace, which is impossible in his tiny dorm with his asshole roommates yapping in his ear about dumb shit and constantly fighting for his attention. Caboose, the dumbest motherfucker to ever have been born, is the worse of the two by an avalanche, claiming himself to be Church's best friend despite having literally almost killed him on more than one occasion. One time, Caboose stabbed Church in his shoulder while trying to cut Church's hair in his sleep. Tucker had convinced Church that, although Caboose is a creepy fuck, he didn't mean any harm, so Church didn't call the cops, though it was a close call. Still, Tucker defending Caboose weirded Church out even more, so he resolved then to never sleep again. Oh, and on Halloween last year, Caboose's hulking form knocked Church's delicate body down a long flight of stairs, and now that he thinks about it, he never did find out how bleach made its way into morning glass of milk that one time...Tucker wouldn't be so bad if he wasn't a raging pervert and an amazing asshole to boot. Unfortunately, there's no cure to assholeishness, so there's no cure for Church's hatred, either.

Luckily for the dramatic shitfucks cringing in terror as he's storming by, Church has reached his favorite computer, the one at the far end of the student lobby. Eager to get started and forget about his roommates, he quickly turns it on and pulls out his lecture notes. The loading screen makes itself comfortable and builds a summer home, but a quick, discreet kick takes care of that problem. When he is finally logged in, Church reaches into his backpack to pull out his flashdrive. It isn't where he left it. He rummages through it for a moment longer before he checks his pockets. It isn't in either of them. Feeling a little embarassed, he runs his fingers along the monitor, hoping he left it plugged in last night and that no one has stolen it. He groans a little when his fingers don't feel the rubbery wheels of his skateboard shaped flashdrive. He'll have to go down to the front desk and ask Deandre, nicknamed Delta because he's a nerd, if he has it. Church has lost this particular skateboard often enough to know Delta personally, maybe a little bit because Delta is really fucking hot and only a little bit of an asshole. He had actually been planning to ask him out last semester before Sigma, one of the other librarians, told him that Delta was more than a bit older than Church.

Not wanting to waste a trip to the ground floor if he doesn't have it, Church checks his emails for a teasing message from Delta. Most were spam-50% OFF VIAGRA CALL NOW FOR FREE SHIPPING-and scams-Your Have Been Caught Speeding Fine $500 Pay 24 Hour Or We Cannot Help You-but one subject line catches his eye. It reads:

Hey, I found your thumb drive.

It can't be from Delta. It sounds too...sociable? Not like he had been raised by a dictionary and a word scrambler? He clicked on it.

Hey, I found your thumb drive. Rad football BTW. I love sports, just so you know. I played track in high school. Everyone loved me. I was the strongest guy. I got the award for most touchdowns. I'd be a professional Sportsman now, but I rotated my spleen. I'm not a creepy stalker, BTW! Or a regular one. Wait...aren't all stalkers creepy? What's the point of that? Why not just say stalker, if it's implied? It would save so many words. Um, where was I...I found your thumb drive in a library computer yesterday. I swear I only looked through a couple of documents for your email or something. I didn't read them or anything! I skimmed them. Except for your email, of course. That I read. Um...point, point, point...When do you want me to return it? I'm free any time.

Cyborg 2.0

Church's shoulders shake with laughter, but he manages (barely) to keep it in. He doesn't know much about sports, but he knows bullshit when he sees it. Still, the way "Cyborg 2.0" rambles is pretty cute. The guy must be a freshman, he decides, if he doesn't know about the lost and found in the library. The term has just started, so it wouldn't be surprising if he doesn't know his way around UNSC's massive campus yet. 

_"Please don't be a sadistic serial killer trying to lure me into your basement...or worse; in a relationship_ ," prays Church as he types a quick reply.

I'm free tomorrow at noon. Meet me in front of the Advising building. I'll be wearing a light blue coat.

On his way out, he sees Delta staring at him curiously. Church gives him a short wave and a small smile as he ducks out the door.

The next day, which is overcast and chilly even at noon, he arrives at the front steps of the Advising building, worrying that Cyborg 2.0 won't recognize him, or that he decided not to show up at all. Immediately, though, he spots a tall man in a maroon coat looking around almost neurotically. When he notices Church and waves excitedly, Church gets a good look at his face. Reddish brown, curly hair frames a narrow face and bright green eyes. Church stares in appreciation for a moment before he realizes what he's doing. 

"Cyborg 2.0, right? Leonard Church, but you can call me Church," he smiles. Cyborg 2.0 looks relieved. 

"Simmons, please just Simmons," Simmons insists in a deep voice, and shakes Church's hand. Church dismisses the oddity with a mental wave of his hand.

"I believe you have my flashdrive," Church quirks an eyebrow when Simmons seems to freeze in some evil form of mortification.

"Oh!" he startles to life, "right! I have it...right, um...here!" 

Simmons pulls the familiar, scratched flashdrive from his pocket after a short moment of frantic searching. Church takes it from his hand gratefully, and slips it snugly into inner coat pocket. 

"So, since you found my flashdrive, how about I bring you out to lunch?" Church offers with more confidence than he had. Simmons freezes again, more horror displaying plainly across his face than before.

"Wha-you mean like a d-date?" he stammers.

"If you want," Church grumbles. He had been hoping that Simmons would realize the implication and accept without calling notice to the offer. Church is exhausted playing the extroverted one already.

"I'll even pay for you," he offers with a bit more desperation, feeling oddly guilty. "You know, as a thank you."

For a long moment, Simmons looks like he might die. Then he pulls himself together...sort of.

"Y-yeah!" he squeaks, then clears his throat and continues, voice gruffer. "Yes. Yes, I would love to go on a date with you. Where would you like to go?"

"Oh, ummm..." Church falters. Normally, Tucker cooked for Caboose, Church, and himself, so he doesn't know what's available on campus, much less where to bring a date. "Why don't we wander around the cafeteria until we find a place?"

"Alright," Simmons agrees readily. 

The walk to the cafeteria isn't long, only a couple of buildings away. Rather than talk, Church glares a little towards the absent sun. As bright and unforgiving as it usually is this time of year, Church misses it. The rain never fails to ruin his good mood. The large pink flowers Cappy, his floor's RA, loves will fall off the trees when it does. Then the sidewalks will stink like rotten fruit. When he notices Simmons casting nervous glances at him, he sighs and tries to give him a reassuring smile. He doubts Simmons believes it, but he bounds up the steps and holds the door open for Church anyway.

By the time Simmons has chosen some place to eat, nearly twenty minutes have gone by. Church feels his annoyance electrifying his nerves, but Simmons rattles off his order when they reach the cashier, so Church breathes a little easier while he orders the first thing listed on the menu. Then, his breath hitches and he blushes violently when he reaches into his pocket and finds it empty.

"Umm..."


End file.
